Your Heart is Free, Have the Courage to Follow it

The amount of relief I have gotten now that Uni is almost over is incredible. I’ve accepted that what will be will be, and I’m not going to look back on it. If I pass, great; if not, it really doesn’t matter. There are so many different ways in life to achieve your goals.

Maggie’s wedding is coming up soon, so I best go get my kilt as soon as I get back home. For Allan’s stag do, we’re going to be going go-karting! 

I’m hoping to get down to Newcastle some time in the next few weeks after the wedding, see a few of my old friends and hopefully make some new ones as well. It’s been awhile since I’ve been down, and Lydia is going to let me crash at hers, which will be awesome! I have barely seen her since we broke up, so it’ll be great to have a big catch up!

Also look out for updates on a new blog or updates on a work out progress. Don’t know if I’ll make a separate blog or just post it here, but I’m going to attempt to lose all the weight I gained at uni over the summer. Going to start swimming again, and I’ll go up Dumyat as often as possible.

While all of this is going on, I hope to be writing for several hours every day. I’ll be writing about the F1 for a website, but I’ll also likely be posting short stories here and on my wordpress while I continue to work on my book. Obviously, while writing, I’m going to need to get another job somewhere to keep myself going. I’m not sure exactly where I’ll work yet, but to be honest, I’m not to concerned about where I work, just so long as I get a job. This job is temporary and so it’s not important. If my writing takes longer to take off than I’d like, then I’ll try and find a better job, possibly fixing and building computers as I am already qualified to do that. 

I’d just like to say to everyone reading this, that you most definitely should follow your heart. Look forward in your life and find ways to make your dream come true. Sure, it will likely be hard and cause you a lot of stress, but if you don’t try you will never make it. In life, the people who get hit and give up are never the ones you read about. For you to be the best you can be, you have to take everything life throws at you and keep moving forward. If you can keep moving, after everything life can throw at you„ you’ll gain such a high level of self respect. You can say to yourself “I did not quit”. In my opinion, that’s the greatest thing in life you can do. It doesn’t matter if you have stalled before and become stagnant over time, from now on, keep moving forward.

A few updates!

Right, where to begin? Suppose I should start with the most recent news!

I was informed that there is a website looking to hire writers. It would be for the summer to write about the f1. Now this is my two greatest joys in the world joined together. I couldn’t ask for a better summer job! So I’m going to receive an email later about the job; here’s hoping I can beat the competition!

However, I still have two weeks left of uni! Got a hard week in front of me, but I’m hoping that I can get everything done on time, and not let my grades suffer. Two deadlines this week, with three presentations next week, along with more deadlines. 

I’d also like to mention over the past few days people have really astonished me. I thought I had everyone figured out, but I could not have been more wrong. Over a short period of time I have noticed several people change rapidly in incredibly unexpected ways. However, this has also been countered by people who shine through their masks and barriers when the need arises. People who I thought to have lost what made them special returning back to themselves when the occasion arises. It brings a refreshing change!

A great friend of mine sent me a letter to help with everything that has been going on in my life lately, and she really inspired me. It’s wonderful to see the emotion and care she took to help me see things from a different perspective, and I’d like to thank her so much for doing so!

Alas, I’d love to stay and chat all day, but I have to get back to uni work. Until next time folks! 

The Future

I’ve been thinking about a few things lately, such as changes I need to make. For the immediate future, I need to focus on uni, but once that is done, that opens up my time for a whole lot of things. Firstly, I want to redesign my room. I will be making it more organised to help with my writing. I will hopefully be getting a new bed as well, as my current one is rather uncomfortable.

 Once I’m home and settled, I need to get a job. Honestly, I don’t care where I work, I just want a job, and get myself settled into a routine. This way, I will have money coming in, allowing me to enjoy my life, but also means I will be able to write without stressing about my finances. I’m going to plan to be writing for at least an hour a day once I have organised my room. However, I will do more at the weekends! (Unless I work at the weekends…then I’d do more during the week!) So hopefully I will be gracing you all with a lot of short stories and making a lot of progress in my novel. I may post further updates of my book on here, about what directions I am taking, my thoughts on it, struggles etc. and possibly some extracts.

I would also like to address my social life. Over the years I have been at Uni, my social life has suffered instead of flourished, which is surprising. I left a lot of great friends when I came to Uni, and I would love to reconnect with them all. I would also love to create new friendships as well!

Alas, now I need to return to my work, deadlines are approaching, and I still have a lot to do. Wish me luck!

In the Morning..

…you know you are going to struggle. Decided that I’m going to start getting up at 5 in the morning to go for a jog around Dundee. It’s going to be hard, but I need to start getting in shape. Hoping that doing this will get me ready for the day ahead, as lately uni has left me with utterly no energy. So, to overcome this I need to make a drastic change!

I have a few weeks left until my hand ins are due, and I am not ready. I need to start focusing.  I hope that a brisk jog for an hour in the morning will help get my mind in gear while also helping me to get fit. Here are a few things I’ve been thinking of -

My brain needs a kick start to get going, as it is currently laden with a lot of uni stress.

Jogging this early in the morning will give me fresh air, which will help clear my mind :D

The streets will be empty, so I have the city to myself.

Even a light jog will help get me fitter, as I’ve let myself go in recent years. I want to try and lose the weight I’ve put on since I got to uni.

Jogging is a start to something new; I’m considering learning a martial art, which I would obviously need to be fit for. (May also start swimming again)

All in all, it’s not a big step, but I’m hoping it will have a big effect, and help me get fit again. A few years ago I was always running and jumping, swimming and racing. Hopefully I can surpass my expectations and start down a road to a healthier me. :D

Any tips on how best to succeed? Any assistance you can offer me would be greatly appreciated :D

What Drives You?

Motivation is an incredible thing. The more I think about it, the more diverse it seems. Some people appear to always be driven and motivated, while others have the embers disappear in the wind, caught up in the rush of every day life.

On reflection, I noticed there were two recurring themes that seemed to boost motivation. The first, and most common, is the desire to be the best. Great people are incredibly competitive, with seemingly limitless energy to push them forward from average and beyond into greatness. If someone is better than them, they do everything they can to improve. I admire their strength, as I have found myself in situations where I believed I was the best, only to have someone completely overtake me in whatever field I was developing at the time. I fought back for awhile, but then my ember was lost in the wind.

A strong desire to provide for people is also another recurring trait. Some people will do anything they can to provide the best possible lifestyle for those they love. I admire the unfaltering belief they have in their ability to support others. I often find myself wishing I could support others and plan how I would be able to manage it. Then the fear would strike, and I find myself unable to find belief in myself. If others should rely on me and I falter, I won’t only be disappointing myself. While those stronger than me would use this to drive them not to fail, I cannot, for fear of the consequences.

What bothers me the most, is that I appear to find excuses to not reach my potential. If someone is better than me, I tell myself that there is no point in continuing. If someone will rely on me I tell myself that I could ruin things for them. When I was younger I would jump at the challenges set before me with ease. I would become the best, and help all those who would rely on me. When did I lose my drive?

It occurred to me that modern society doesn’t exactly encourage creativity. Schools tell you to do something a specific way and don’t really aid in your understanding of topics. They are designed to help you pass tests, not learn topics. Creative topics are also weighted less heavily than maths for instance. Not everyone can understand maths. As the great Albert Einstein said “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

This rings true for me. I never found school particularly difficult to learn, but I always felt like I was being forced into ideas that were not my own. We are taught that making a mistake is the worst thing we could ever do. This is good for exams, but not so good for life. We learn from mistakes, and we grow. Mistakes are nothing more than ourselves realising we could have done better. Schools don’t allow for mistakes, and instead force you to be perfect from the start, or to not bother trying because you failed. Being subdued by the weight of these wild expectations leaves little room to manoeuvre your own thoughts. I believe this system has weakened my resolve to stand up for my ideas, and now I’m going to strive to get my drive back. There are millions of people like me, but only I know what I’m thinking; what my passions are, and what motivates me. I will get back my drive. I will make mistakes, and people will be better than me. This shouldn’t stop me from trying to be the best at everything I try my hand at. It will be difficult but nothing in life worth having comes for nothing. 

From Darkness, A Hero Rises

True worth can only be seen when tested. A diamond will forever remain a lump of coal unless put under pressure. The greatest heroes of all time would be vastly unknown if it was not for a set of challenges that presented themselves. I have been faced with great challenges indeed. 

I study game programming, and at this moment in time, I have a group project that involves working for a big name that you all have heard of (that I don’t think I am supposed to say…). However, the only other programmer in my group happens to be a lone wolf, and is making my life extremely difficult. However, a solution has arisen to help me in my plight. Recently, Unity became free, and there are trials till the 8th of April for Android and iOS. This means if I can translate the game we have into unity in the next month, I could save my ass from being downgraded due to a careless member of my team. This clearly, is no small task.

On top of that, I still have my other three modules to do as well. This is a great deal of work, and there is only really one module out the three that I have been understanding perfectly so far. So, as I wave goodbye to any form of social life for at least the next month, I take comfort in thinking of the great heroes, both real and fictional. I see this as a test. For a while I have been backing down from challenges because I have been in the wrong frame of mind. Now I have a strength that wasn’t there before. Once I get into a rhythm of attacking my work, I hope I will then be able to have some free time to continue writing as well. Every day new ideas are popping into my head, and I feel I have many great stories to tell. Hopefully I stay motivated long after my coursework has been handed in.

Furthermore, all this effort isn’t just for a grade. If I do well, I know I will be able to reclaim a place in 4th year, meaning that I get to move in with my wonderful girlfriend! She is facing similar circumstances, but I know she will pull through. She has so much strength she even lends it to me to help me through what I have to do. 

The next time you are faced with an obstacle in your way, before you lose hope, remember: The only way to prove your greatness is to overcome insurmountable odds.